Loss During Lockdown

I wrote the following having seen a post on social media looking for artist of all kinds to contribute to a newspaper(which tunred into a Zine)called The Stange Times

I knew i wanted to write something but i wasent sure what i would write about. Within a couple of days our beloved Star passed away and so naturally i wrote about her.

Star was no ordinary dog.

She was Star in name and Star by nature.
When my son and I made the move over 13 years ago from Drogheda to Co.Clare we knew we had to have a dog in our lives.
After seeing an advert in the local health food store: “Good homes wanted for puppies” we called the number!!
We met about 7 puppies in a barn with the mum and a donkey!! We will never forget the moment all the beautiful  pups ran to us and said hello. But one in particular was the friendliest and jumped and played with my son the most out of all the pups. Any preconceived notions about having a boy pup gone!!Because this one was a girl!!
When the time was right we collected her, when she was old enough to leave her mum!!
We noticed around the heart area she had white star shaped fur and so thats what we called her.
And so our journey began together.

She traveled on Luke’s lap in a box filled with straw! And from the moment we got her she traveled and moved everywhere with us!
One of those journeys was up to meet other family members.On one of those visits we visited with my sister and her son. Star was out in the garden and when she came back in the door we noticed she had something in her mouth! We realized she had found a dummy(soother) in the garden and it was in her mouth the proper way round!!!!

She was always making us laugh with her ways. Always wanting a stick on a walk and going for the biggest one in the woods so taking our legs out as she ran by us. Recently these sticks became treasure and she would bring the sticks all the way on her walk until got to car then try take it into foot well of car with her!!No matter how big or small the stick was she insited it come with her!!

She equally loved a ball with passion. Leaping and bounding and catching them from the sky. During her lifetime a lot of tennis balls was had!! I found 6 while cutting the grass in garden recently!!
She loved her food too of course. She would follow anyone into the kitchen in her own home or others. If cooking was happening she lay on the floor observing and waiting to be given something or waiting for something to fall on the floor so she could hoover it up!!
Once during a family barbecue she stole a piece of chicken on a stick straight from the hand of my nephew while he was busy chatting!!

Everyone who met Star loved her. And she loved them. She taught us how to open our hearts. To love unconditionally. And to be loved unconditionally.
To be excited over the little things like putting shoes on,picking up a collar,saying the word “sausages!” or “stick”or “ball”…that life was to be lived and loved and shared. She gave her stick or ball to all she met she was unselfish in the most wonderful wonderful ways.

As i sit and write this in these strange times,tears flow freely down my face.
Our beloved Star passed away on Saturday 25/4/20
Strange times have turned into stranger times.
Her bed is empty. Her water bowl empty. Our home is empty of her. A bone,a ball, many sticks remain in the garden untouched since Saturday.

The imprints she made in our hearts remains.
In the felt sense that we knew her, we loved her,and she loved us.So much.

Cherish every moment.

Love fiercely because one day it will all change.

This we know to be true now more than ever.

As a pup and in old age!!
That time she found a dummy in the garden!!

#bestlife #blossom #health #ireland #nature #pandemic #routine #selflove #shining 12 steps AA abuse addiction Alcohol free alcoholic Best life Birthday change is possible Dog Family freedom gender Grief healing hope Innerchild journey Joy light Live music Loss non binary not drinking Pets recovery selfcare Sober sobriety Socializing somatic Somatic therapy Spirtuality support Thankful transforming

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