Happy New Year!! Been an age since I wrote anything here! Hope everyone had the Christmas time they wanted to have! This is the first Christmas I have not been working in ages and the break feels nice! The lack of funds is not so nice, but it is what it is. I am very thankful for my cozy home and food in belly!
I left my secure well-paying job after being asked to go work for someone else. It was a risk and I decided to take it. Unfortunately, it did not work out. One of the people working there was not the kind of human I can stand working with. And when I told the person who asked me to work for them, she denied any issue with him. This surprised me as all the female staff had something negative to say about this guy. But it seems this had gone unnoticed by management. So, after we spoke, she told me this was not a good fit. I worked a week in hand and had to wait almost 2 weeks to be paid due to a banking issue. It has been challenging. I was upset about the situation for some time. I trusted the working environment to be okay and it was not okay. Of course, now I wish I had stayed in my comfortable job that I was good at, but I was not to know. The grass is not always greener!!!
On a positive note, I am loving being a student again. I have received 70% in my first assignment, and I was completely thrilled. My next assignment is an essay which I have decided to call “The Impact of Trauma on Women Recovering from Addiction”
I feel like this is something I can write about from experience and that is also a vast amount of research available. I have been learning that trauma is not what happened to us but how our bodies have been affected by that trauma. It is only through almost 3 years of somatic therapy that I have learned this! The work done in therapy continues to be transformative.
I would dearly love to continue with education when I complete Addiction Studies. I am applying for all the funding I know about as education here in Ireland is expensive. This course is 1500euro and to continue it will double a year. I have cleared all my debt in the last 3 years, but I have not managed to save for this. If you feel like you could or would like to help me, I have added a link to donate to my education fund! This is something I have pondered over for a long time. Please know that I am not asking you to donate unless you can, and it feels right for you!
January 5th is 3 years sober. It has been an amazing journey. In the 3 years my entire perspective on addiction has changed. My addiction was a trauma response. 3 years of therapy and getting to know myself, my body has taught me this! There is absolutely no part of drinking that I miss or that I wish to return to. My body does not miss the illness I gave to it by poisoning it!!
I recently received The Five Mindfulness Trainings and received the Dharma name Awakening Radiance of the Source. I am deeply grateful for this training and to all those I have met while attending Sangha. I would not have been given a name which included Radiance if I still drank or smoked weed, that is for sure!
A deep bow to you. Wishing you all the health and happiness for this New Year🙏💞
https://gofund.me/936ef6a6 This is the link I mentioned🙏